if i say i shouldn't be here, i shouldn't be in this world, what happens then?

music: there is a light that never goes out(cover) - anberlin

i'm not sure this feeling, could it be uncertainty? or perhaps me questioning the fundamental purpose of living. or maybe its just me simply trying to find an escape. i dont know what i'm doing here, but i dont want to go, probably cause i dont know where to go. we're all moving along in this fast paced life, turning into motion blurs of beige, yellow and brown. i cant keep up, but it doesnt really feel like i'm trying. its like i'm rejecting the system, when the only thing i should do is conform. its been 3 weeks now. i've been telling myself the same thing, but i cant seem to snap out of this neverending dismal daydream. the past 9 lines are full of but's, maybe's and doubts. simply put, i think that in itself would suffice to show where i'm at.